Heavy Heart
Because of fears of possibly being infected with the Covid-19 virus, I can no longer be with my six-year-old granddaughter. She is an amazing little girl: happy, funny, beautiful, smart, creative, kind, generous, talented in so many ways: a total delight to be with. Until now, I have been with her during several days each week. She has been sunshine in my life during this sobering time of pandemic.
To this point, it has felt fine, on a regular basis, to be with her and my daughter, her mom, who is single parenting. This has certainly helped my daughter while she has been working from home. And being with my granddaughter has been a treat for me. She is a very special little girl. She puts a smile on my face and gladdens my heart. I have felt some confidence that her mom was keeping herself and her daughter largely isolated and safe. I was willing to accept the relatively small risk for me associated with being with them.
But the situation has changed. My daughter has enrolled her young charge in a summer school program with other kids and other adults. It starts next week and lasts for the rest of the summer. She did this to end the isolation that has been ongoing for her daughter, allowing her, once again, to be with other children and other adults. I understand this. I also know that both of them will now be exposed to so many others, with no control over any of their previous or current contacts. This is one way that the virus can spread.
To my way of thinking, health concerns need to continue to be the highest priority. I disagree with sending my granddaughter into a summer school program setting. I have let my daughter know that I think this is risky for them both. Yet, she is the mother and gets to decide what is best for them. But for me, this is a new and more risky situation. At 77 years old, I now feel a greater need to keep myself safe. So, I will not be seeing my granddaughter on any kind of regular basis until doing so can feel safer for me once again. This makes me really sad. My heart is heavy.
So sad to see this in print, what you’ve been dreading, Dagmar. My best wishes are with you and your family that everyone stays safe and healthy, and know that I am feeling your anxiety too. Be well my friend.
Thank you, Judy – your comment feels like balm for my soul.
I’m sad for you, Dagmar. I know the feeling of being separated from my grand girls and is heart wrenching each time I leave them. One feels like you’re missing out on their lives in a way. Good thing we can FaceTime, etc. Maybe that will help a bit?
Thank you, Mimi – yes, it must be so hard for you to leave your grand girls also! I need to look into how to stay in touch virtually. That seems like a sorry substitute for days together in person – but worth a try. I’m also so bad on the computer that the thought of setting up a Zoom call gives me heart palpitations. 🙂 Yes, we as moms and grandmas do feel all the joys and all the pain around loving our kids and grandkids so much.
Dagmar, separation with loved ones is the hardest part of this pandemic. Have you been able to overcome zoom anxiety and connect with them?
Katharyn, we Zoom occasionally – but their lives are full and they have to initiate it as I am clueless on that score. Occasionally, I head over there and we sit outside and try to catch up a bit. Makes one so grateful for those small moments in life.